Mexico Readies Tequila for U.S. SuperbowlMexican farmers unload tons of the Agave tequilana* plant in order to produce the vast quantities of tequila and mezcal in time for the Superbowl. Tequila and mezcal, according to most sports fans, will get you drunker quicker. And its practically gospel that that is what the Superbowl is all about: "drunker quicker." According to famed Whirled HQ psychiatrist, Bleeven Betron Slovinkystern: "Our studies show that no one ever watches the game. They are just plowing back shooters of tequila and mezcal and generally dry humping furniture. Its a uniquely north american male thing. They don't even watch the much bally-hooed commercials because if you're bonko on teeq and dry humping a throw pillow, well, who really cares about Bud Lite. I must say that we have had a small up-bump in viewing the actual game (around .006%) since New England has been in the Big Game. Our survey shows the increase is do to Man Crushes on Tom Brady, the strikingly handsome, squared jawed and nearly flawless quarterback of the Patriots. Some guys just can't take their eyes off the svelte and bodacious curvedness of his scrumptious backside."
*Tequila is produced by removing the heart of the plant in its twelfth year, normally weighing between 35-90 kg (77-198 lbs). This heart is stripped of leaves and heated to remove the sap, which is fermented and distilled. Other beverages like Mezcal and Pulque are also produced from Blue and other agaves by different methods (though still using the sap) and are regarded as more traditional.
