Live Feb 8th

The Lost Boxspring

The lost boxspring was found leaning against a wall in Cabbagetown yesterday. But just for a moment and then it was gone. If you see it please contact its owner, Fred "Sleepless in Seattle" Clinkscales. He has been fornlorn and boxspringless for over two long and difficult weeks. Compounding his forlornness Fred also lost some keys, the shed the keys opened, his yang (still has his ying), silent nose hair cutter (electric), weasel tweezer, skull cap, skull shoe, prescription eyeglasses, some weed, and his Elvis sunglasses he got while visiting Branson, MO when he went to see Evel Knievel just before Knievel kbit the kbucket. Says Clinkscales, "It's been one of those decades, I suppose."

Live Feb Ath

Sponge Bob Nearly Kills HQ Charter Member.

Sponge Bob Square Pants (seen behind the wheel in this dramatic photo) in a fit of cartoon/comedic-woowoo blikblik whankwhank-pique very nearly killed paparazzi/HQ charter member Matt Rosenberger as he innocently tried to snap a photo across from the Georgia Aquarium where Bob was appearing. As Rosenberger squatted in the basic paparazzi Zhizhua or "one knee parallel to the ground, other knee floating" position Square Pants-pop pow boingboing skinkskink- accelerated. Fortunately the athletically svelte Rosenberger's uncanny reflexes sprang into action and he leapt to safety. The ruggedly handsome, chisel featured and nicely tanned Rosenberger unfortunately suffered a meniscus tear that he stated was still a little "stove up" and causing him more than a little grief. In his recently filed injury lawsuit against Sponge Bob-woowoo boingboing ding ding-Square Pants, Inc. Rosenberger's attorneys Rowen, Martin & oh so Cloynowskii also listed the mental anguish and grief caused by the horrirfying incident that keeps replaying itself over and over like a slow train wreck or a slow motion dream where someone is chasing him and can't get away but can only scream and that is really kind of fucked up.

--HQ Live PhebRueAerie Ocho (8)

Whirled HQ Expert Finds a Whatchamacallit
Jon Marcus, a.k.a. Mr. Wunnerful & doctor of artifactology & crudology, found a weird looking whatchamalcallit on the floor at Borders Bookstore and immediately began a close minute inquiry into the actuality of the whatchamacallit.
Based on preliminary results Marcus stated, "It has all the characteristics of a whatchamacallit except that it has a teeniny photo of a very fuzzy woodchuck in the corner on the right side. Normally I don't see that. I'm taking it back to the highly scientific and technofied Whirled HQ futuristic field station and put it under my most powerful thingamajig for closer examination and I'll get back to you frothwith if not real sooner."

Get it straight on Feb 8. HQ Live!

Bald Eagle Strikes Patriotic Pose.

A "captive" bald eagle (you know he isn't really bald and isn't really captive because you can't deny an eagle their freedom in the US of A) who is apparently aware of his status as a symbol of fightin' and freedom struck a pose that instilled pride, a lump in the throat and a tear in the eye nationalistic fervor for this Whirled HQ in the field reporter. Without a note of The Star Spangled Banner or America in the air this loyal and patriotic embodiment of American values stood on a mighty tree trunk and looked towards a bright future and a solid financial year for the Homosassa Springs Wildlife Center in Homosassa Springs, FL. Amen.

Live HQ Feb 8th Too Thowsend 8 redux advertisement

Rock Emanates Waves
A rock in the Flow-Rita Keys was observed to emanate waves in concentric circles. The observation was made by renowned and handsome oceanologist Dr. Nivlac "el guapo" Ymagrub . Says Dr. Ymagrub, "Its just rock but yet it emanated waves! How! How I ask? It was calm on the ocean yet these waves emanated as if a life force existed within the non life type thing which is a rock."
Hey its Christmas and its a slow Whirled HQ newsday so complain to the editor already like we care.

Live Feb 8, 2oo8

Ocean Swallows HQ Member's Shadow

Calvin Burgamy, one of the three original founding members of Whirled HQ, lost his shadow in a tragic seaside event while on vacation in Flow-Rita. Mr. Burgamy was photographing the beautiful ocean water as it washed upon the seashore. In just seconds his shadow was dragged, kicking and screaming, out to sea. No lifeguard or shadow of a lifeguard was on duty to save the helpless shadow. According to Mr. Burgamy he has taken swimming lessons but neglected to give them to his shadow. "A mistake I have lived to regret", lamented the remorseful Burgamy. "Waaaaaaa!"

Live HQ Feb 8th Too Thowsend 8

Whirled HQ announces world poverty bail out plan.

Whirled Headquarters announced today at their new headquarters (see article below) that they are offering loans to anyone in the world for UP to $800.00 smackitos!! According to spokesmodel Jon Marcus there are absolutely no strings attached except you "absolutely have to pay us back with some interest." Other than that people can just line up at their offices in Priority Zone 1 Office Park (see below) apply and within minutes get their money. Any reason for the loan will suffice including nation building, pest eradication, prom limo, beer money, wide screen tv's, global warming (or cooling), fire departments, etc.
"You just name it." says Marcus. "It's all about helping this old world out."

HQ Live Update!!

Whirled HQ posts another out of focus photo. With its creative juices running at an all time low, whirled headquarters went ahead and just posted another lousy, out of focus photo. This one was taken from the window of a moving car as it was passing something. We think the something is behind the blurry sign but frankly we flat out don't remember. Jon was driving and Matt was yakking up a storm and Calvin wasn't paying that much attention. So what we did is heighten the contrast and tweak the brightness so it would look a little more artsy.
And oh, by the way, we are performing live Feb. 8th, 2008 at 9pm. Sycamore Gallery, Decatur, GA.

HQ LIVE FEBRUARY 8TH, 2008 Update!!!

Whirled HQ eyes new headquarters in Priority Zone 1
Whirled HQ is interested in moving its world headquarters because of the previously mentioned (just below) time portal rip. The time rip could cause instability in planning future shows, past reminiscences, and present day fun. Jon Marcus, VP in Charge of Time/Space/etc stated, "We can get a great deal in Priority Zone 1. Not much is happening there in the way of development and we need calm and quiet to sort out some of our completely whanker ideas and devolutionary comic material and Zone 1 could provide the kind of environment we need to flourish. WooWoo!"

HQ LIVE FEBRUARY 8TH, 2008 Update!!!

HQ Executive's Aura seen while relaxing.

Matt Rosenberger, Whirled Headquarters executive VP in charge of beverage procurement, is seen relaxing amongst the throng of hoi polloi at a local tavern. Apparently the beer glass in the foreground in conjunction with glow of the "halo"gen light in the background and Rosenberger's powerful inner biconceptual perception of self combined to produce a visible aura about his head and arms. Witnesses described it as an "aura of respectability" which produced a sense of inner calm in popular bar patron Jasper Schenksburton who just seconds before was bellowing incoherently about his man-crush on New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

HQ LIVE FEBRUARY 8TH, 2008 Update!!!

Chevron Algonquin "Leaks" Out of a Time Portal in Decatur, GA in close proximity to WhirledHeadquarters.com headquarters.
An early model Chevron Algonquin Matador V7 Scramrod LaHoya was seen clearly in the "rear" of a time (does anybody really know what time it is?) portal early Wednesday morning by a joggernaut, Cliff Willey who stated, "It was like it was coming for me so I ran the other way. I barely got off this shot with my Nikon Cool Pix L6, 5 megabyte digital camera. Awesome!"
HQ Live will is still scheduled to "go on with the show" Feb 8th, 9pm, Sycamore Place Gallery, Decatur, GA despite the alarming rip in the fabric of time unless there is another time shift in which case the show could happen spontaneously at any time and perhaps any place/space. Shifts in time often are paired with shifts in space like last Thursday when I lost my keys and I knew where I put them so they couldn't have just walked off so it had to be like a rip in time/space and some person from another parallel world/space/time reached down and their hands went through space/time and got my keys and now I don't have mine and they are probably weirded out as well 'cause they can't even start their car OR if this other person is from the past they are probably freakin' because they don't even know what keys are.....more later......

HQ LIVE FEBRUARY 8TH, 2008

Relax. Join the Living. Come to HQ Live. February 8, 2008
Sycamore Gallery, Decatur, GA
across from Carpe Diem

Ghost in the Machine

Hear the ghostly noise at the end. Very Scary!

HQ Live in Feb. 2008

HQ Live at the Sycamore Gallery in Decatur, GA, February, 2008, 9pm, date to be announced.