Bicyclist Crash Lands at Heliport
A slightly confused bicycler, Robert "Bob" Bleeker, from Westhester, TX was found dazed and disorientated at the Drummond Heliport in De Funiak Springs, FL yesterday. Whirled HQ reporter of the month in the Florida Panhandle, Lane Chamberlane, stated Bleeker was "out of it" and unable to reorientate himself. Apparently Bleeker was biking down the byway by himself on a balmy and beautiful day between Westhester and Bevins, TX when a blast of hot air blew him off the road and into the air flown by the fates and a fickle wind after which he found himself in De Funiak Springs, Florida. It was only later that he discovered there was a political primary producing prolific amounts of pompous parlance and hot impetuous harangues that may have caused the strong swirling vortex of verbage that lifted him from Westhester, TX to De Funiak Springs, Fl.

Jellyfish Observe Humans (or so they think)
In the controlled environment of an aquarium located in the U.S. of A. jellyfish lure humans - using emotionally soothing blue colored light - to come within a few feet. In order to more closely observe natural behavior the jellyfish make it appear that the humans are observing the jellyfish when in fact the opposite is true. To make the feat even more astonishing the humans pay the big bucks for the "privilege" of being observed. However, in a weird turn of voyeuristic events whirled renowned Whirled HQ reporter, Lane Chamberlane, stated he was told (on condition of anonymity) that a third entity was involved and that "they" (whoever "they/the entity" are or is) had actually lured the jellyfish to build the "aquarium" so that the jellyfish would think they were the ones who were observing when in fact all parties except "they/it" were the ones being observed. Chamberlane said he left the area in a hurry feeling a little creepy and immediately took a hot shower when arriving "safely" at "home".

Lost Cat
A torn lost pet sign was found in the Little 5 Points area of Atlanta, GA.
Whirled HQ reporter at large, Lane Chamberlane, found the sign with these words still readable: Lost, One front tooth missing, Quite Awesome ...ce you get to ..now her!, Kittish black f...., ...y to avoid skin, and one black leg, "hopping" run,
Please call w/ any, 04 309.

Important Sign Made Duly Note Of
With family standing unawares, Nivlac Ymagrub, displaying his early promise in the geographical arts, points out an interesting and somewhat important sign that is just overhead. Said Ymagrub, "Duly noted."

Super Valuable Foto of Tom Brady's First Throw Found
Whirled HQ's super secret underground celebrity task force has unearthed family photos of New England Patriots quarterback superstar Tom Brady's first time ever throwing a ball.
Estimated to be worth about 80 million dollars the pictures shows Brady with a warm fuzzy soft practice helmet and displaying the grace and skill that would come to define his lazer like hurling abilities later in his NFL career. According to Whirled HQ's super secret underground celebrity task force sources Brady threw this ball about 200 yards and penetrated the nearly impenetrable steel/mocalvinium alloy exoskeleton of a piece of heavy duty heavy yellow equipment Brady's dad kept for just such occasions.

Out of Control Cactus
Phleg Phlegler of Sand, Arizona bought a pet cactus a year ago at Larry's Year Round Plant-o-rama with the intention of keeping it on his kitchen shelf and watching it bloom every 7 or 10 years. However, according to Larry Klaver, owner of Larry's Year Round Plant-o-rama, "A seed of the "Big Cacti" must've got mixed in with the Extra-Dwarf Deca-Bloom variety. It happens."
A somewhat timid Phlegler says, "I have to keep moving it or it gets angry."